IwontIwontIwontIwont
OK so I'm still having crazy thoughts, but maybe this is what I need to kick myself in the butt. I ate very sensibly last night and all day today. I used the exercise bike for the first time in months. I've had it. I don't have much to lose- if I get down 2 sizes I'll be incredibly happy. At that point, I won't care how thin my mom gets. God, I am so pathetic and selfish.
My mom is getting a gastric bypass April 30th. I am happy for her but very upset for myself (I would never let her know that). I simply CAN NOT be fatter than her. I CAN'T and I WON'T.