goddamn fucking mailbox from fucking hell
oh shit oh shit. I broke the turn signal on my car. It happened when I hit my bro's mailbox last night. I called hubby and he is pissed. He may have calmed down some by now. I can't do anything till the dealership opens on Monday.
I'm not worried about driving the car around with it looking like that, I'm not worried about anything except for how mad my husband will be/is. This leads me to question why I worry like this. Is it because it happened after I had drank, even though I was sober when I did it? Probably. I'm worried hubby will think I was drunk driving when I wasn't. If this had occurred during the day and I had not had a drink, would I be as worried? Possibly. WHY do I get so freaked out at the thought of being "in trouble" with my husband? I'm so scared of him being mad at me.
He is a kind man. He's not very patient or understanding with me at times, however. He's harder on me than he is with other people. I can't explain it. I guess I get held to a higher standard than others. He wants me to be perfect all the time. Oh, God, now I'm crying. Shit. He wants me to be a perfect little wife-like someone off of a '50's sitcom. He wants me to look pretty when we go out in public, and although he doesn't belittle me or make me change my clothes if he doesn't like what I have on, he has a way of "suggesting" that I wear something different, and I listen every time and do what he wants. We always do what he wantss..
OK- my brother just called. He said that everyone hits his mailbox. He has the piece of my car that fell off and I'm going to go get it. I feel like such an idiot crying on the phone to him. All that can run thru my head is "If I tell hubby that both of my brothers knew I was sober, and that many people have run into that same mailbox just as I did, will he still be mad?"
Am I too eager to please? Premenstral? What the hell is wrong with me?!