Christmas, 2003
Yesterday I stayed home. I didn't go anywhere- just watched TV all day on the couch. Hubby worked and went to my family's Christmas party for a few hours afterwards.
I am so glad I didn't go, because my neice Krystal had drawn my name. That would mean I would have had to face her for sure, which I am not ready for. Hubby came bringing a HUGE pile of gifts home from Krystal to me. I keep wondering if she bought me baby/pregnancy stuff and then had to return it after she found out I'm not having a baby. She got me alot of nice gifts- a foot spa, and one of those machines that rests on the edge of the bathtub and produces jet bubbles. Also, a huge 3 wick candle w/holder, and bath stuff.
It wasn't like I was really happy to open presents last night, I just felt I needed to get it done and out of the way. My in-laws gave me a few things- one of them was a pregnancy journal. I opened it and tossed it across the room. I saw hubby open 2 smaller presents from his pile, and then hide them behind his back so I couldn't see (obviously gifts related to babies, etc.)
Why the hell couldn't my in-laws have contacted hubby beforehand and told him to take those gifts out from under the tree? Did they just forget? Did they think it would make me feel GOOD to get baby stuff, after knowing that I am not having a baby? Also, my BIL called early Christmas morning and was shouting really happily on the message machine, wishing us a great Christmas, etc. I wanted to kill him for being so insensitive, but I guess I'm just being overly sensitive, perhaps.
Well, hubby's procrastination got the better of him last night.
I had suggested a few months ago that we should get some inexpensive gifts for each other this year, and then go in and buy TiVo for the house. He somehow interpreted that to mean that he didn't have to buy me anything, so he didn't. Not that I should have cared, or anything, because if there was ANY year that I couldn't give a damn about getting presents, this would be the year. I gotta admit, however, my feelings were hurt. I've been emotional anyways, but I had all kinds of irrational thoughts going thru my head, and I was stunned that there wasn't a single thing from him to me.
Oh, wait, he ordered a couple of presents for me online FOUR days ago, so they're in the mail. Those don't count, though, because he should've had them for me by Christmas. Oh well, who gives a damn.
I'm mailing a thank you card to Krystal, and asking for some space for a bit. Her boyfriend wants us to come to dinner, hubby said. Um, thanks but no thanks, y'know?
I was trying to remember what the doctor told me what happened with my pregnancy, and I finally remembered in the middle of the night. It was called a Blighted Ovum. The procedure I am having on Tuesday (D&C) is a Dilation and Curettage, to remove the yolk sac.
No, I can't talk about much else right now, because there's not much else on my mind.