10th grade
OK I am off the pity pot, and ready to talk about 10th grade.
"Everyone" was losing their virginity, and I was hearing about it. Now that I look back I realize how truly stupid I was being about the whole thing, but at the time, I felt like people could tell I was a virgin. So I lost my virginity too in 10th grade. It was at a boy's house whose parents weren't home...and it wasn't a memeorable loving experience. It was dull, but I remember being relieved.
2 weeks later some "friends" came over when MY parents weren't home. It was 3 boys and 2 of us girls there. One boy brought a bottle of tequila.
I had never really drank alcohol before, and had no idea how much would make me drunk, so I stupidly STUPIDLY chugged it- everyone else was drinking heavily too. I blacked out and kept coming in and out of consciousness. I remember laying on the floor of my room and having my pants taken off and one of the boys began having sex with me. I had a silly little boyfriend at the time (who wasn't there) and so I remember being worried that he would be mad, so I kept telling the kid to stop, but then I would pass out, I was so out of it.
My parents came home and caught us on the drinking but knew nothing more. I woke up the next day really confused about the whole thing. I didn't know how to catagorize the "sex" that happened. Now I do, I guess. I don't know what ever became of that kid. Many years later, after I had graduated high school and college, I was visiting my parents right before hubby & I were to be married.
The girl that was at my house the night of the "party" years before, was over visiting, and we went to the local bar/liquor store to buy something- I think it was a fishing license. Anyway, she walked in first and noticed that "he" was past the store, sitting in the bar. He couldn't see us, apparently. After we left, we started talking about that night and she told me that he had done the same thing to her when she was 13.
Well, other stuff happened in 10th grade besides that. I started taking Russian language in 10th grade, which was memorable. My small school began offering Russian that year. I'm not sure why I signed up- I think I just wanted to try something different.
On sunny days I liked to climb on the roof of the house and sunbathe. Sometimes I would take my top off- living in the countryside has its' advantages.
I learned to drive. My uncle taught me how to drive a stick shift. I went in for my driving test the first time and failed- but everyone failed the first time. There was a bitchy lady working at the DMV who would fail even the BEST drivers on their first try. There wasn't a student in my school who had passed their first time.
So, I made another appt. after my failed test and went back. She was behind the counter. I froze. After she found out that I had taken the test once already, she gave my paperwork to another tester (?). He did a great job (as I did as well) and I passed with flying colors. I remember I took the test in mom's buick and I had to explain to the guy that there was a wire crossed somewhere-when you use the right turn signal, the windshield wipers start going too.
I still had to use the family ATV for most of my transportation. I didn't have a car to drive to school and mom and dad wouldn't allow me to take theirs every day. The ATV (4 wheeler) was used to go to local friends' houses- for school I still had to take the bus- it was way too far to take the 4 wheeler.
I read alot of books- I remember reading Judy Blume's "Tiger Eyes" over and over.
I went through an occult phase, and started reading books about Wicca. I wore alot of black then. Once, dad came downstairs to my room and saw the incense & candles. He was quiet for a moment, then said "You're weird. You're weirder than all your brothers were." Then he left. I thought it was hilarious.
I'm leaving so much out of these entries- there was so much more that I experienced in 10th grade. Looking back, this grade could've been better, and it was mostly my fault that my memories aren't as carefree and happy as they are for other years. Perhaps that school year found me more introspective, questioning and, distrustful, but also, very unaware of the world, and trying to make sense out of it.