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I went to the funeral today for my boss' son. It was SO heartwrenching. People got up and told stories- my boss wanted it to be more upbeat, but there were so many tears. As I went to use the bathroom I heard someone crying really hard. I figured it was one of her twin daughters- they're only 16 and adored their big brother.

We went thru a line and paid our respects to the family. To do this, we had to walk by the casket and it was open. He looked...white and fake. It was so sad to see his mother bending over the casket, adjusting the pictures, etc. and the pain in her eyes. It was the only thing she could do for him as a mother that moment.

Afterwards, I was going to go home and not go to the cemetery, but as I drove by the cemetery I saw the crowd gathered and so I stopped. People put flowers and handfuls of earth on the casket. It was touching.

Afterwards I went home for a bit and then went to the reception. The reception was really nice- it was much more upbeat, with music (rap), and food- the kinds of things he would've liked.

I wasn't close to him, but I feel I am close to his mother. Her grief is devastating. His sisters are far too young to have to deal with something like this.

Seeing as how I've been grieving myself for several months, I thought about how our grief was alike and how it was different. In a way, I'm envious that she had all that time with her child- I never got to know mine- not even their gender. In the end, we both lost people who we were going to watch grow into adulthood, people whose weddings we would plan, and people who would bring us grandchildren. In that, I feel a kinship.

But knowing and having all the additional memories she had on top of the loss of the future of her son, would be almost too much to bear.

Last night their old family dog just couldn't go on anymore. He passed away. A lady at work said "I bet he missed his master and they're in Heaven playing together."

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� mbwillow on
2004-06-25 at 8:05 p.m.
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